Should I be living up to what I'm supposed to be, or should I be living up to what I am? And how do I know what this 'am' is that I should be living up to? Is it the ideal Paige? The skinny, beautiful, intelligent Paige who always has something witty to say and could put a smile on a starving Ethiopian kid with malaria and a very bad case of chafing, or the currently chubby, vaguely know-it-all Paige who tries to have something witty to say and would probably start crying if she got within five feet of a starving Ethiopian kid with malaria and a very bad case of chafing? The perfect-skinned director Paige or the ruddy angsty high schooler Paige? The Paige who wears Louboutin and really awesome 50s style clothes or the Paige who wears Anarchy and jeans hoping to one day fit into really awesome 50s style clothes? Is the current me all that I can be? Is this what I strive for? And if you say I need to be me, how can you prove that I am not me? Being a whiney egocentrical bitch who wants to be everything she isn't is part of me. So, should I accept that and continue to be whiney and egocentric and wanting to be everything I am not? Is this what I am? Or am I suposed to fill in the shoes of every compliment thrown at me and in the end become a massive compliment inducing shitpile of goodness? Am I supposed to make everyone else love me? Should I do this only after I love myself? If I can only do this after I love myself, wouldn't I first have to become the ideal me? So, therefore, should I be living up to this ideal me? And if I am trying to live up to the ideal me, is everyone trying to live up to the ideal them? And if we're all idiots going around trying to be the ideal selves, then, what the fuck are our issues? Why can't the current we's be good enough for us? Why must we be the ideal us? Why can't we sit back, scarf some potato chips, and think "This is the life?" Why can't we be so busy not caring about this stupid ideal us that's a goal we're never going to reach anyway and if and only if we do we are then going to be dissatisfied with it, wanting to change more, that we can put smiles on the faces of starving Ethiopian kids with malaria and severe cases of chafing? Chafing sucks, people. Smiles for the chafed.

I didn't answer any questions I had.